is everything = nothing?

I have this problem. I literally want everything. It should be cool, you know, except that it’s me. This makes me so confused that I don’t know what I really want anymore, and where to begin.

When I read novels like The Road (Cormac McCarthy) or The Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger), I’m almost certain I want to become a writer; when I see movies like In The Bedroom, There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, I suddenly think of becoming a director; when I saw Philip Seymour performance in Capote and Daniel Day-Lewis’ in There Will Be Blood, I want to give acting a try; when I see a great painting, I want to paint; and this applies to everything I came across with that I loved and admired.

Tell me, isn’t this a problem?

my job description

I am almost 4 hours late for work today. And I only planned for two. Tsk…tsk…tsk. This is how important [and how much I love] my job is for me.

my oscars goes to…

Best motion picture of the year:

“Atonement” (Focus Features)
“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

****** I hope Blood wins. If not, I hope they give it to No Country. Clayton? Are you serious? It isn’t even close to Persepolis [which is an animated film]. If Blood or No Country can’t win, can they [voters] just not give the award at all?

Performance by an actor in a leading role:

George Clooney in “Michael Clayton”
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood”
Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
Tommy Lee Jones in “In the Valley of Elah”
Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises”

****** I’m sure Day-Lewis will win. Viggo is my second choice [and I love him in Eastern].

Performance by an actress in a leading role:

Cate Blanchett in “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”
Julie Christie in “Away from Her”
Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose”
Laura Linney in “The Savages”
Ellen Page in “Juno”

****** Haven’t seen Away From Her, La Vie en Rose and The Savages. Give it to Page for a change. I’m forever inlove with Blanchett though. Can I marry her?

Performance by an actor in a supporting role:

Casey Affleck in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Charlie Wilson’s War”
Hal Holbrook in “Into the Wild”
Tom Wilkinson in “Michael Clayton”

****** Haven’t seen Into The Wild and Assassination of Jesse James. Bardem is really good [and irritating] in No Country, but Hoffman is witty and superb in Wilson’s War. Go Capote!

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:

Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There”
Ruby Dee in “American Gangster”
Saoirse Ronan in “Atonement”
Amy Ryan in “Gone Baby Gone”
Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton”

****** This is really a competition. I love Dee in Gangster, but only Blanchett can do Dylan. Ryan is a slut [in the movie]. i love her too.

Achievement in directing:

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” Julian Schnabel
“Juno” Jason Reitman
“Michael Clayton” Tony Gilroy
“No Country for Old Men” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” Paul Thomas Anderson

****** The Coens might take home the award, or even Schnabel but Anderson created a masterpiece [and I love him]. David Cronenberg [Eastern Promises] should be on the list.

Achievement in cinematography:

“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” Roger Deakins
“Atonement” : Seamus McGarvey
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” Janusz Kaminski
“No Country for Old Men” Roger Deakins
“There Will Be Blood” Robert Elswit

****** Elswit!!!! camera work, angle, lighting.. wow.

Adapted screenplay:

“Atonement” (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
“Away from Her” (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

****** Havent seen The Diving Bell [It's in French]. Blood, I hope, will win. I love No Country too.

Original screenplay:

“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
“Lars and the Real Girl” (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
“The Savages” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

****** Haven’t seen The Savages. Cody speaks my language.

Best foreign language film of the year:

“Beaufort” Israel
“The Counterfeiters” Austria
“Katyn” Poland
“Mongol” Kazakhstan
“12″ Russia

****** I know, I know, Diving Bell isn’t France official entry [It should be in the best pic category]. And yes I haven’t seen it yet. But if you’ve seen Clayton, you think of the others which could have taken its spot. Juno is great but I don’t think it should be in the best pic race as well. And what happened to 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days [Romania]!? Persepolis [France] should have been included here and not in best animated film. It’s that good. So I don’t care whoever wins this one.

Best animated feature film of the year:

“Persepolis” (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
“Surf’s Up” (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

****** Come’on, give Persepolis what is due for it. It’s even better than Clayton. I wouldn’t mind if this wins the Best Pic Award. It’s that good.

I hope Blood takes home everything.

sorry guys, and I love you

At 3:00 pm, my team will be heading to Antipolo for our last team building [Our team manager has already submitted his resignation letter earlier this month]. And I can’t go with them. I have to be in work. Applying for a vacation leave in the account I am assigned to, and having it approved, is like seeing the pope. It just can’t happen. If I’ll be on AWOL, I’ll be terminated. I used to love being on AWOLs that I reached the end point [laugh].

I feel bad. I love my team manager and my teammates. But sometimes, you really have to choose between something precious and something important [as a friend once said]. I chose the latter. What makes it harder is the fact that I hate my job.

the inconvenient truth

After listening to Incubus for hours this morning, I decided to check out the copy of An Inconvenient Truth I got a week ago. It’s a documentary [or a movie] about how the world has become, and becoming because of global warming.

“… that the changes are not all just gradual. Some of them come suddenly, in big jumps.” This is one of a few lines that marked on my mind. Are we ready for these changes? If we based it on what is happening now, I think we aren’t.

I don’t know Gore, and haven’t heard of him before seeing this documentary/movie. But I listened to what he had to say; it’s something huge, and very important. He is really saying something we already know, but something that doesn’t really bother us. Atleast not now, not this time.

“… that the warning are heard, and responded to.” He [Gore] said somewhere in the documentary/movie.

I feel guilty.

Please watch this. It will not bore you. It has a feel of a movie in it. I cried a few times [I'm laughing but I'm serious].

I love Gore now [wink].

love in lyrics

‘How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you?’ — Lifehouse, Everything

Ah, isn’t this the sweetest? This song makes me want to fall inlove. To/with whom though, is the biggest question.

Another question: Can we blame a person for making us fall inlove with him/her?

the road to perdition

I was planning of watching There Will Be Blood, again, for the 4th time supposedly, yesterday. But I realized I hadn’t gotten enough sleep for the past weeks. I went home instead. But I have trouble sleeping [This explains sentence 2]. I ended up re-watching Road to Perdition, a movie I’ve seen for the first time in 2002, and was directed by Sam Mendes [who I love now]. He is the same director who did American Beauty [which is, uhm, beautiful].

The first time I’ve seen Road to Perdition, I really admired it. But the stupid me didn’t really understand it that time. I have only fully grasped its beauty yesterday. It is such a beautifully-made film. I really, really love it. It’s quiet, dark, haunting and yes, slow. But its being slow made it more beautiful; it worked for its own terms. The filmmakers should really be proud of themselves. They have had created a masterpiece.

The story is about a journey of a father and son to Perdition- which tied the bond between them- to get away from the dark thing that shattered their family. But revenge took place, and the road came to its end.

I love this film the same way I love In the Bedroom and American Beauty.

with these… people

“I see the worst in people. I don’t need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I’ve built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry… to have you here gives me a second breath. I can’t keep doing this on my own with these… people.” — Daniel [Day-Lewis] to Henry [Kevin J. O'Connor], in one of the scenes in the movie There Will Be Blood [which is super].

Yes, it wasn’t me who said it. It was Daniel Plainview. But then again, it feels like it was me. I see myself in him. I haven’t killed anybody yet though. If hate could kill, I would have been in jail already. I could have killed thousands of people. But I would have been dead as well. Who knows.

and she’s back

I was in 2nd year high school the first time I heard of her. I became an instant fan. I still am. And now she has a new album, and her new single Touch My Body is so cool I can’t help humming it all the time. I call it effort. Others call it noise [which likely is the case].

The good thing about being a Mariah Carey fan is that with her, it’s a win-win situation. Always. If you happen to not like one of her singles, you still listen to it because her voice, and style, is irresistible.

“..touch my body.. put me on the floor.. wrestle me around.. play wit me some more ..” …[humming continues]

that familiar feeling

After my two-day off from hell [that is, work], I went back to Manila last night. Just when I was about to leave the house, and my home [in Pampanga], I felt the urge of hugging and kissing my mother [which I haven't done for years]. But I didn’t. I should have. I really, really should have. Maybe next time.